New Shoes and Forgiveness

The word “forgiveness” seems to be echoing out of every song, book, and conversation I encounter these days. It resonates just a bit louder than the words around it. I’ve let the idea of forgiveness swirl around me in the air. I am aware it is there but not sure what to do with it. Occasionally I ponder it for a bit and then put it in the shelves of my mind, letting it sit until it is the right time to pull it out again. The other night, forgiveness whispered, gently encouraging me to take it off the shelf and give it a good, long look. This invitation, warm and welcoming, came in the form of neon-colored running shoes.

Normally I wait until I have shin splints or at least 300 miles on a pair of shoes to get new ones. At 275 I decided I was ready, no matter what the numbers said, to replace my shoes. It seemed a frivolous, impulsive purchase at the time.

That was until I saw the color of these shoes. As anyone who has been fitted for running shoes knows, you decide on the style that works best for your foot, and take whatever color that model happens to be. I’ve been buying the same shoes for five years at the mercy of shoe manufacturer to decide the color. This time, I had a choice. Electric blue and green and in my size? I couldn’t wait to put them on.

 Mizuno Wave Inspire 8s finally in fabulous colors!

New shoes are like magic. I took them for their inaugural run and had energy and spring in my step again. The knee problems I’d suffered from for weeks melted away. I felt like I was running on pillows. It was the rare run that from the start I knew I would be great. Hills would be easy and I could go for as long as I liked, enjoying the feeling of light feet and freedom.

About a mile into this run the excitement of new shoes faded into thoughts about the issue at hand. Forgiveness. Again that word came up as I ran by Christmas lights on trees and nativity sets in yards. Who or what did I need to forgive? I turned a corner and ran by a park I had only previously run by in the daylight. A row of trees glowed, their silhouettes illuminated by dots of white light. Against the inky darkness, the light was stunning. It was as if the stars wrapped themselves around the trees and made their homes a little closer to the earth for the Christmas season.

Light in darkness, Christmas, the end of the year, and a new pair of shoes. I realized all of this was an invitation to hope. The only way I could make room for hope, however was to let go and forgive. It’s been a tough year full of mistakes, frustration, heartache and hard work getting through it. It was time to let it go. Time to let the wounds of the past heal into scars of strength for the future. These lessons and stories are all a part of us, but the hurt, doubt and anger are heavy to carry. Those could be left in the closet with the old shoes.

Forgiveness, for ourselves and others points the way to peace within. I pray that carried by new running shoes, we make room for the light of hope to wrap itself around us, illuminating the beauty and joy that comes with peaceful acceptance of who we are, and what we will be.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!