The title might not indicate this, but let me start by saying I really, really tried to have a good attitude about the treadmill. Running outside was not an option today. My plan called for a 6-mile route and I was getting home after dark on a zero degree-day. There isn’t a run around my neighborhood that feels safe for that long after dark. I consider myself tough about the cold, but factoring in safety and temperature, inside running looked like a good option. Besides that I was inspired by a book about first time marathoners and this guy who trained for an entire marathon on the TREADMILL! I just had one measly 6 mile run to do so I thought maybe I haven’t given the old treadmill enough of a chance.
You know how long it took to go back to my old treadmill hating ways? 30 seconds. Maybe 28. I was distracted by the fact that once I got up to speed on the treadmill, I proceeded to move my arms the wrong way and fling my ipod across the gym. Feeling a little embarrassed I hit the pause button and went to chase down my music. Note: The treadmill did not count this little jaunt as part of my mileage. Also, there isn’t a reading for humiliation factor among the blinking lights and numbers.
But I am training for a marathon; I have a good attitude; I am determined to work out inside and like it! I got back on the ipod flinging device and started up again. At 6 mph I was barely staying on the machine and my heart rate was through the roof. I am sure I can run 10-minute miles. I have run 5Ks in under 30 minutes and it did not feel this miserable in the first 30 seconds. What is wrong with this thing? Is 6 mph on a treadmill different than by land? All I knew was there was no way I could survive an hour of this. This was supposed to be an easy run! I brought it down to 5 mph. Time crept by. I looked at TVs. I tried to people watch. I tried to think about the next week and day. I tried to time how long I could go without looking at the elapsed time (usually 10 seconds). I tried counting things, making it through a song, watching my reflection in the glass…everything! After all of that 5 minutes had gone by. It felt like years. How does anyone do this?
I managed a full 30 minutes. When I was at the point of loud screams and curse words the entire gym would hear, I decided to finish my workout on the track. I only had 28 laps to do to get to 6 miles!
As I set off around the track, I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally I was getting somewhere. I actually felt like I was moving. I finished the first mile in 10 minutes. As I was doing the laps I thought about why the treadmill makes me so miserable these days. Treadmills are about time, not distance. You can’t watch the miles go by running in one spot. All you can do is wait for the numbers to tell you that you are going forward. Marathons are about distance. They’re not meant to be fast. They’re meant to be slow and steady. A first time marathoner shouldn’t even have a time goal! Treadmills punish that with their tedium. Outside (or even on a track) it’s much easier to focus on distance. Whether it’s how close you are to home, or how many laps you have done, your watch won’t tell you how far you have come. Time and treadmills move at a constant pace; runners do not. There are subtle variations in our speed based on landscape and weather and how we are feeling. That’s what I like about endurance running. Moving with the natural rhythms of my body and the landscape and taking in the surroundings. Accomplishing the miles. Going out for a long run, turning around, and somehow making it home. Tomorrow I will take my running back outside and leave the treadmill for short speed workouts or moments of true desperation. Tomorrow, I will have a new appreciation for the sidewalks, the streets and even the cold—and I owe it all to the treadmill.
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