Follow Your Heart

News that affects the world sometimes so coincides with what is going on personally it makes me wonder if somehow the cosmic forces lined up to remind me of some important lesson I had forgotten. This week, as I wrestle to make a decision—to figure out if I should come clean about this messy relationship that has caused me many sleepless nights—Steve Jobs died.

What can the loss of the founder of Apple computer and innovative genius possibly have to do with my relationships, one might ask?

Steve Jobs was a proponent of following your heart and intuition. And that is the lesson I needed to be reminded of. No one, NO ONE, knows what you know about you. The quotes of this icon have been posted on every social media site. Over and over in my news feed are some of his most famous words, “Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”

Follow your heart. Trust your intuition. You have everything you need to know inside of you.

My head has been spinning with the words of advice about what I need to do. What do I hope to accomplish in saying my truth to someone else? What good can come of involving someone else in my feelings? Could I just quietly get over and it and move on? Would that be the better option? Maybe.

I had a run date scheduled with a good friend this morning. We did a favorite five-mile route and discussed the uncertainties that exist in both of our lives right now. There is something magical about these kinds of runs. I don’t know if it is the perfect running weather that fall provides. I don’t know if it is the blazing, morning sunshine refusing to let me hide in shadows of doubt and sadness. I don’t know if is voicing the questions and leaving them on the roads behind us or just sharing the experience of being out there on a perfect day. Maybe it’s just the promise of having breakfast and coffee to look forward to afterwards. Whatever it is I return feeling like I have shaken off the dead leaves, the outside voices that threaten to drown out my own, and am left with just the bare branches: my heart, my intuition, and my truth. And they know what to do. Returning home from a run, especially a run with good company, is like returning home to myself.

As I struggle with courage and logistics of how to have this conversation I know I need to have, I will think of mornings like this one. I will be reminded of the importance of pushing the pause button on all of the noise of the world, carrying nothing but a house key and my questions, and sharing that with a friend who knows the importance of waiting for the right answers. I will think about playing it safe and settling and I will remember a man who did neither, and changed the world because of it. I will think about strength, and courage and the quiet voice of my heart that begs me to listen and to believe that it knows the way home. All I need to do is follow it.